Lost to the Blight
by Debb
Summary: When it feels like he's lost everyone, the person he needs the most, is gone too. M!Mahariel/Morrigan Survivors-verse in that both Tabris and Mahariel are Wardens. Spoilers for end of DAO.


The Blight ends atop Fort Drakon, amongst fire and deafening cheers. The Archdemon is dead, by all accounts the Warden with it. When the darkspawn start running, Theron thinks the worst.

The blinding light from the prison has dimmed, the darkspawn making a hasty retreat, the soldiers cutting them down as they go. His mind goes to Ostagar, yet it is nothing like it. They've _won._ The _glorious_ victory King Cailan expected but didn't receive, comes now, more than a year later. He can't help but wonder the cost of it. They've won the war, defeated the Blight, but the Flat Ear, Darrian, is gone.

He looks around for the rest of his companions that have been left behind and Zevran catches his eye. His expression is grim, Theron knows he's thinking the same thing, that Darrian has been killed. They don't say a word to one another, they don't really need to. Zevran may well have lost his lover, Theron has lost his friend, someone else to the Creators damned Blight. He feels as if he's losing everyone.

His next concern is his own lover, Morrigan. During the battle, he seemed to lose sight of her far too much for his liking. Yet again, she's nowhere to be seen, and this time he lets the panic from earlier take over. He whirls around, trying to catch a glimpse of her, something to prove that she's safe. He knows she would laugh at this, he knows at the back of his mind that she more than capable of holding her own in battle, he's seen it plenty of times. However, with the prospect of losing someone else, he simply wants her _there_.

He still doesn't see her, the panic threatening overwhelm him. He feels tempted not to wait for the Flat Ear, to go and find Morrigan, but that idea is quickly quashed when he remembers just who else he's lost. He didn't wait for Tamlen, didn't look hard enough, didn't look long enough and he remembers all too well what happened to him. And so he waits this time, waits for the Flat Ear, to confirm whether he really is gone, if he really is another victim of the Blight.

The time passes slowly, soldiers starting to trickle out, elves, dwarves, Darrian's Shianni at one point. But no Flat Ear, no Darrian, or Alistair, or Wynne, or Leliana. No one that went up to Fort Drakon to face the Archdemon. Are they all dead? Gods he hopes not, they can't be.

His gaze lingers a bit too long on the road behind him, the way to the city gates. Morrigan has not appeared, he worries for her. He glances to Zevran, the other elf surprisingly still there, he would've thought Zevran would go into the city, find Darrian. He hasn't, he waits as impatiently as what Theron is doing. Theron approaches, stands with Zevran for a few moments, Zevran glancing to him.

"He's not going to come out alive, is he?" Theron says. He kicks himself for it a moment later. Of all the things to come out with. Tamlen always said he had a talent for putting his foot in it.

Zevran stays silent.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."

"No, my friend. You are simply stating what we're all thinking," Zevran answers. He too looks over his shoulder to the space where Morrigan should be. "And your own lover seems to have disappeared on you."

He nods. "I didn't even see her leave."

"Find her, Theron." He heaves a sigh. "You will regret it otherwise."

"But what about...?" Theron bites his lip and throws a glance to Fort Drakon.

"I don't think they'll be appearing anytime soon."

He doesn't need telling twice. He sprints away from the battlefield, now determined to find Morrigan. He hopes there's only so many places she could be, he's not such an accomplished tracker that he can follow her between the footsteps of hundreds of soldiers. He hurries back they way they came, past bodies of darkspawn and soldier alike, there's nothing he can do for any of them and for a few moments, his mind flashes back to Ostagar. Once more he's running away from a battlefield, a very different battlefield granted, but still a battlefield and once more, he's trying to find Morrigan.

There's a figure in the distance, standing still, watching the direction he is coming from. He hopes it's her, prays it's her. He needs to know she's all right, settle his mind, then he can think on why she's gone at all. He gets closer and he feels a smile break out on his face. It is her. Morrigan is there, watching him approach and he slows his pace until he's only a few steps away.

"You waited for me, ma vhenan?" he says and reaches for her. She halts him and he steps back.

Morrigan gives a small nod. "Indeed. T'was foolish of me to do so. I knew you were all right, you barely left my sight for the duration of the battle," she tells him, her gaze diverted and lingering on the gates of the city. If nothing else, this comforts him.

"Where are you going? You seemed to vanish," he says, folding his arms across his chest and resists the urge to bite his lip.

She frowns at him. "Has no one told you?" At his blank look, she sighs to herself. "Of course not. I'm leaving Theron, I made a deal with Darrian and now I am fulfilling my end of it."

It is he who frowns this time. There's something not right about it all, he's sure of it. "A deal. Why would this deal involve you leaving then?"

"Because I have done my part. The Archdemon is dead, the Blight ended. Why would I stay now that these have been accomplished?" She fixes him with a steady gaze, one that he looks away from. She's set on this idea, set on leaving. What in the name of the Creators has Darrian done?

"That doesn't answer my question," he insists. He's desperate, reaching for any excuse, any answer to delay her.

She doesn't answer him and begins to walk away. She halts, doesn't look at him, yet doesn't leave. He follows her, stands by her side, where he wants to stay if she would let him. She seems to have made up her mind, she doesn't want him there and by the Creators does it hurt to think that. She starts to walk on. He pauses, looks over his shoulder to the smoking tower of Fort Drakon, then follows Morrigan. She halts once more.

"Darrian and I performed a ritual in Redcliffe, before the battle. It was...successful, I am with child," she tells him, matter-of-fact. Her arms are folded, still she doesn't look at him and he wonders if she can't.

He swallows hard, opens his mouth to say something only to close it a moment later. He feels like his world is ending, that everything he held dear is gone or he is about to lose it. He takes a deep breath, schools his features into a blank look and faces her. Shouting at her, losing his temper will do nothing to help. "Was this intended? Or was it simply to hurt me? It's worked if it was, done a damned fine job of that," he states, scowling at her. So much for not losing his temper, he thinks.

Morrigan is the one to become annoyed and she rounds on him. "Don't be such a fool! You think I do this to hurt you? That I have slept with him because I was unsatisfied?"

"Were you? Is this why you're leaving? You wish to end things?"

"Of course not. You are being utterly ridiculous."

"Am I really? Come then, what was this ritual?"

Morrigan pinches the bridge of her nose, her eyes shut and she opens them a moment later, facing him once again. "The child I carry holds the Archdemon's essence, it was my mother's intention that I do this when the time came."

He frowns and tilts his head. "But why? Flemeth is gone for now, why follow her plans?"

She shakes her head. "We both know my mother will return. I must leave now and prepare the child."

It makes sense, in his head he knows it does. The hurt has faded, but the curiosity, the need to know why is undying and he has to know. "Why Darrian then?"

She snorts quietly. "I knew you would not do it, if I told you what I planned, nor would Alistair. Our fearless leader was the only one I thought I may have a chance of convincing."

"If I'd known what you were planning..." he begins, however is silenced by a glare from Morrigan.

"You would what? You would've agreed to do so? Theron, this ritual means no more Wardens have to die." She turns away from him. "It means you would not have to die...I did this to save you, my love."

He reaches for her. "Oh Morrigan..."

She holds up a hand for him to halt and he does so. "No. Do not..." She pauses and wipes her eyes. "You have been determined to die since you found out your Tamlen's fate. Even if I had come to you, would you have accepted? Or would you hold onto your death wish?"

He stays silent. His desire to end it all after encountering Tamlen _has _been extremely overwhelming and the rest of the group have noticed. For weeks now he's been too reckless, too daring and too eager to throw himself into battle. He knows that she's right.

"I could not let you die and nor could he." She clears her throat quickly. "And it has worked, Darrian will survive and you are alive too."

"Except I lose you all the same." He feels a lump in his throat and he swallows it. "You did that to save me, yet you won't even stay to share it?"

She shakes her head. "I told you, I must go." She finally faces him once again. "If it were another time, another place perhaps..." She stops and sighs. "I told you we would regret this, did I not? I said love was a weakness."

He steps forward and takes her in his arms, holding her tightly in what will be the last time. She kisses him, he returns it, eager and it is she who pulls away. Her hands are pressed against his blood stained armour and she places one hand on his cheek.

"Live, my love. Use whatever time you are granted to live your life," she tells him, blows out a breath.

He feels his throat constrict, tears in the corners of his eyes and gives a single nod. He shuts his eyes, turns his head away and when he opens them again, Morrigan is gone.

He stands there, staring at where she has been. It takes a lot to turn away, to return to the city, to his _duty, _his _life _that Morrigan has granted him. Her last gift.


End file.
